By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
