I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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