I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
