i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
