You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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