I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I would fuck him just for his dog
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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