He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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