in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
