U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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