Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he fucked my hip out of place.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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