Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
