BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
