i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
