he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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