I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
