Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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