Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
