literally had 100 drinks last night.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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