how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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