Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
