I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
