no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
