her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
