I skipped work to stalk him.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
