the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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