hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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