i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
