That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
