I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
