were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
