well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
