I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
