is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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