You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
