it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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