that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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