I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
