I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
