Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I will pee on everything he values.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
