She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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