Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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