A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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