I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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