help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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