Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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