If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
