He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
