Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
