those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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