so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
