i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
