His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
