My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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